violentwavesofemotion:

“You are all things delicate and beautiful–the shake and shimmer of the water reeds, the half-heard murmuring of half-hid lotuses, where swans in dreams by willow trees sing their exhalted song.”

— Velimir Khlebnikov, tr. by Gary Kern, from “When, In Imitation,” c. April 1916

I have so many regrets..

The times you came to dallas this year to see me, and you drove all the way up here and then I refused to see you because I had too much pride. I’m so mad at myself for it. You came up here for me multiple times, and then I just said no when you were already here, why why why did I do that. You were trying so hard and I pretended like I didn’t care. I miss you and I’m sorry.

I can’t believe it’s already been a month.

I hit a year and a half clean yesterday and was waiting for a FaceTime from you and then remembered it wouldn’t be coming. I can’t believe I won’t be getting a “happy birthday” from you this year. The first birthday in 8 YEARS that I won’t get a weird card or a Disney princess present from you. Every year for my birthday if we weren’t in the same town you’d FaceTime me and sing me happy birthday. And I can’t believe I won’t be getting that this year. I still don’t believe that you’re gone. I think about you everyday and I miss your laugh. I love you and hope you’re having fun up there🌻

I’ve been missing you a lot lately

everyday i wake up thinking about you. i think about your smile and your laugh and i cry because i miss you. i can’t believe you’re gone. i can’t believe that on thursday we were planning your visit to dallas and then all of the sudden you were gone friday.  you were supposed to come visit last week, and then boom all the sudden you weren’t here anymore. i keep looking back and wish i would have said “i love and miss you too.” but my pride got in the way and i didn’t say it back to you. i’ve been beating myself up about that but i’ve come to realize that even though i didn’t say it back, you still knew it. i can feel you around me daily and at night when I’m going to sleep. i love you forever and always, just like we always said. i am so happy to have such a wonderful guardian angel. 

ecryre:

/səˈpərnl/

adjective
relating to the sky or the heavens; celestial; of exceptional quality

quotemadness:

“I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling and laughing.”

— Jack Kerouac

(Source: quotemadness.com)